I struggle with contentment in my calling. I fully embrace my identity as a daughter of the King of Heaven, and I believe I was born to make an impact on this world, in Jesus’ name.
And I want to do it right now.
I’ve shared with my discipleship huddle that I’m in a season of painful “pruning,” or spiritual development, where I believe God is gearing me up for something really big.
But because I’m an apostle — one who loves to create things and strive for breakthrough — I have a really hard time sitting still and waiting on His timing. I desperately want to know what this “big thing” is. (Sometimes I even worry about how big it might be, or if I’ll ever be ready.)
But I’ve stepped out in faith and given Him permission — He can take me wherever He wants to, whenever He wants to. I’m ready. (Lord, did you hear that? I’m ready. So yeah. Any time now. Hello??)
But first: humility in bravery and authentic trust.
The wonderful problem I have is this: the Lord knows my heart.
And He’s doing everything in His power to keep me from falling flat on my face because I’m not truly ready for the “big thing” He has. He’s got so much more work left to do in me first. He’s still stretching me, grooming me, preparing me… and He’s waiting for me to authentically trust Him and His timing beyond mere words.
What’s more, He wants me to be in a position of complete humility — one where whatever “big thing” He has for me is entirely for His glory and for the benefit of others — not an inward, self-absorbed, prideful push to “be recognized” on my own part. (Ouch.) Laying down my pride here takes bravery — but it’s God who makes me brave, so I know I can.
Here’s the thing: God isn’t interested in developing my vision. He is interested in developing my heart. And in order to do that, He is protecting me — keeping me hidden — until He is ready to bring me into my fullest potential.
My Bible readings of late have taken me through David’s story and the intense seasons of waiting leading him into leadership. While I echo David’s discontent in the Psalms with an adamant, “How long, Lord?,” I admit it makes me feel better to know I’m not the first to feel this way.
I mean hey — even Jesus was Biblically MIA for the first 30 years of his life! I sincerely doubt that Jesus was a “late bloomer” — but his birth and a few adolescent temple stories are all we have to go on in those early years. At thirty, he was finally called out of hiding into God’s grand purpose — and his entire ministry on this Earth only lasted for three years, ending in death!
It’s so counterintuitive to what the world teaches, isn’t it?
We’re constantly bombarded with self-help messages: “You can do it.” “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” “Dream big. No, BIGGER!” “You can achieve anything if you believe you can.”
Without God’s leading, these well-meaning mantras can become the most vicious lies. As if anything we do for God’s Kingdom would be out of our own power! My desire for control makes me want to steer the ship — I forget that even the wind and waves obey Him.
And so, God keeps me hidden.
Yes, hidden until I’m ready. But more importantly, hidden until HE is ready to move. He won’t let me take on more than I can handle. For my protection, for His glory. Because His love never fails, and He won’t let me fail either.
He is a good father. His timing is perfect. He really does know what’s best.
And even if He never calls me to where I think I’m willing to go, He is enough for me. He’s still good — and I know I can trust Him.
How about you? Are you embracing God’s timing in your life?
When we’re willing to surrender and embrace His timing, I believe we can thrive even while the Lord is hiding us. I am scratching the surface here, but I encourage you to walk this out in faith with me.
Wherever you are in life and in your walk, it takes bravery and humility to slow down long enough to let God deepen your roots so you can bear fruit. Are you willing to let Him? Are you willing to wait on Him?
Friend, you can rest in the fact that you are exactly where you are meant to be. No, seriously! God has put you here for a reason, and is fully capable of bringing His Kingdom in and through you, wherever you are.
Whether he moves you into the “big thing” he has for you today, tomorrow or decades from now, He won’t forget you — and He will use you to His glory if you’ll let Him.
“Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope.” — Psalm 119:49