Friends, meet meet Janea. She is my baby sister, and one of the guiding forces in my life. She is essential to my Friends Essential during this Daniel Plan journey — she is walking every step with me, and we are being richly blessed in fellowship. I asked her to contribute her inspiring story of recovery and redemption. She’ll be sharing a few more insights over the coming days. Love. This. Girl.
Hi, my name is Janea, and I am recovering from an eating disorder.
I have always felt… plump. Pudgy. Rotund. Fat. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. No one has ever said the words slim, slender, thin when referring to me. And it was because I like to eat. Oh man, do I like to eat.
I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was bored. I had no control over what I ate. I would binge and feel guilty, binge and feel guilty, over and over and over, but could never bring myself to purge, thank goodness. I was able to keep my low self esteem hidden, and masked it with “enthusiasm for life.”
I found and married a wonderful man that wanted me, somehow, despite my internal battle with my self image and my control issues with food. I never felt as though I was beautiful or healthy or worth anything, because I was always overweight. Instead of doing anything about it, I just continued to live my life being “fat’ and getting heavier with each month.
Pregnancy changes a lot. I began my pregnancy a minimum of 30 lbs over weight. I wish I was one of those women that finds out they’re pregnant and decides from that point on, only good foods and exercise! I constantly thought about what I was eating and felt out of control and overwhelmed. Whether good foods that were beneficial to me and my daughter, or complete junk, I ate. And ate. And ate.
I ate myself over 40 lbs heavier, and I was miserable. I only lost 12 lbs having my daughter, and she was 7 1/2 of it. But, I banked on nursing melting the pounds off and shrinking my puffy midsection back into place. I planned elaborate exercise routines with baby snuggled sleepily her Moby wrap. I planned on some magic fairy coming and m
aking me thin in the name of motherhood. I must have been kidding myself…
Nursing was not a viable option for us, so the benefit of weight loss was washed down the toilet, Baby Girl didn’t like being in the wrap for more than like 10 minutes, and the Motherhood Fairy must have lost our address. 1 Year postpartum, I was just as heavy as I was the day I walked into the hospital to welcome our baby into the world. A whopping 225 lbs, and I felt every inch and every ounce.
Something had to give. In November of 2012, I began the life giving journey to health. I read about exercise. I studied nutrition. I prayed for God to come through in a major way… And man has He. I write this to you today, free of the shackles of food, 60 pounds lighter. I have learned that I must take care of the body He has created.
In his Daniel Plan book, Rick Warren talks about how our bodies are an investment that He has given to us. I cannot even begin to explain just how true that is.
It is called a Binge Disorder, without purge. The guilt and shame controlled me and kept me captive.
But not anymore. To God be the glory.
Read again tomorrow for how The Daniel Plan fits into my journey!